As
some of you know from Facebook, I’m just back from a glorious family vacation
to New Orleans. Returned Monday evening
to a weather relapse – going to be cold and rainy all week, looks like – and to
a post-holiday hangover in which, sorry to say, I found myself unenthused about
our upcoming LD and beyond.
There
was no particular trigger. Just general
overwhelm with obligations and logistical juggling, guilt about saddle-shopping
in the face of an upcoming reduction to student budget and about not being able
to swing glorious vacations on a more-frequent basis, and then learning that my
intended riding buddy for the LD is not going to bring a horse after all. I totally understand and sympathize with her
reasons and I was a little surprised by how much it bummed me out; I ride solo
all the time and really enjoy it! But I
had been looking forward to their company and to for once not being that weirdo
who doesn’t know anyone.
I
read Liz’s post about her unexpected solo ride, though, and found it
super-timely and encouraging. And I went
out to the barn Tuesday evening, and when I called to Tucker, his head shot up
and he hollered back, and so long, stress!
Depart, disappointment! I’m such
a perfectionist and so intensely competitive that sometimes I forget, when I
haven’t seen my pony in a week, to feed my inner starry-eyed horse girl.
I’ve
always said that I’d like to travel more and sometimes I think, I could travel
more if I didn’t have a horse, except: But then I wouldn’t have a horse, and that’s
the end of the conversation. I’ve always
figured, if I ever stop making the transition to the last bit, that’ll be my
sign that it’s time to do something else for a while. And I think it’s good to stop every once in a
while and ponder this stuff, you know?
Make sure that whatever I’m doing, I’m doing because it’s what I want
and not just because I don’t know what else to do with myself.
And
yeah, it was nice to be reminded: I’d still so much rather have the horse.
(And
my particular horse, who loathes being fussed over, may now potentially have a
multi-person crew at the LD, which is hilarious even before we address my own
fuss-aversion. So that’s okay, too.)
You may fret about being alone before the ride. But when you wake up, get on your horse, and stride out, within those first 100 yards I bet you'll calm down and just focus on business. Its what you both know. Its what you've trained for. And its what you're there to do. And then, suddenly, you'll be okay and it'll just be an absolute thrill to enjoy the trails. =) Wishing you best of luck and safety on the trail!
ReplyDeleteTRUTH!
DeleteThank you. :)
Sometimes it's hard coming back to the real world from an amazing vacation. I enjoyed seeing your trip photos on FB; it's easy to understand why you'd have a post-holiday hangover!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you will still be doing the LD! I think Liz is an inspiration to us all.
It was a really fantastic trip; I've always wanted to see New Orleans and it did not disappoint. :)
DeleteIf I didn't have a horse...I bet we could all write a great blog post about that. Instead we deal with the angst, the highs and lows, the stress and fun, why do we do it? When they look at us, when they whinny, when we have a great ride, it's all worth it.
ReplyDeleteGlad you had a great vacation, but even more glad that you're doing the LD, awesome!
They are pretty clever like that! Horses: they are the best/worst/best.
DeleteIt's always important to feed the starry-eyed horse girl. Well said. :)
ReplyDeleteIt turns out that kiddo knew a thing or two. :)
DeleteI could write an entire post about being the socially awkward, generally unknown misfit thrown in the deep end with a bunch of people I don't know very well at all but desperately need to make a good impression on. Short version: I totally feel your pain there.
ReplyDeleteAnd having just come back from vacation myself, I can totally sympathize as well. Not many words of advice here, but you're not alone! Looking forwards to hearing about your LD and coping strategies and such =)
Yeeeeeah. I mean, I'm basically used to and at peace with it, right? But sometimes it just gets OLD. ::fistbump of solidarity::
DeleteYour vacation looked pretty great, too!
It is very important to feed that inner starry eyed horse girl! And I can totally empathize with your thoughts I have them often as well. I'd love to travel but then I wouldn't have my horse and that is just not acceptable right now.
ReplyDeleteThis is the upside and downside of basically enjoying one's everyday life, I guess. I really like traveling and I would love to do more, but I'm not sorry to be where I'm at when I'm at home. Which is a good problem to have!
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