VCMBH: Continuation School

I’ve enjoyed all of L.’s blog hop topics; she came up with a doozy this time:

So couple weeks ago we talked about our trainers and why we may ride with them. Last week we talked about things we're currently working on in lessons or in our rides outside of lessons. So this week, with all the ups and downs experienced in riding, the expense, the pressure, the stress horses being giant and yet fragile. Some of us are sidelined due to physical conditions, horse injuries, finances or even a lack of a equid to throw a leg over, Why do you continue to ride?

 I’ve been thinking on it; I expected to have an answer right off the bat, but it’s turned out to need some simmering.  Turns out I’ve got three:

1)    Because right now, I have The Horse.  Tucker is really, really cool, you guys.  It is kind of a weird feeling to know that your first horse is probably your horse of a lifetime, but here we are and I have no doubt that he is.  He is maybe not the most athletically gifted horse in the whole entire world, but he is a nicer horse than most folks are ever lucky to own and his mind is utterly fantastic: work ethic and confidence and smarts.  He lets me know about it when I’m wrong and unfailingly helps me out when I need him to, and he is just so flippin’ good at everything I’ve ever asked him to try.  I’ve only owned the one horse, but I’ve ridden many, many.  This one is special.

Honestly, if I didn’t have him, I might not be riding right now.  If something happened to him tomorrow, I would hope to take lessons and catch rides, but I would almost certainly not buy another anytime soon.  I’m in this horse thing for the long haul, I think, but I’m also in that weird time of life when some more grown-up-responsible decisions are starting to look good.  A temporary break from the horse bills to regroup while in school might not be the worst thing in the world.

But this horse.  He is my oldest friend, now that my old dog is gone, and my best partner, and I am so, so much the better for having him in my life.  There is simply not another option, you know?

2)    Because I really love watching other critters’ brains work.  It’s not an accident that my animal sports of choice – eventing, distance-riding, tracking – are ones in which the human inevitably at some point finds themselves at the mercy of the animal’s intelligence and ability to decision-make and problem-solve, or that my training methods are geared towards helping the animal have discussions and think for itself.  I don’t mean that the human doesn’t have a responsibility to participate and prepare – they do!  But the sports that I’m interested in are the sports in which the horse or dog is a full partner and in which their choices count.

I think brains in general are cool – I spend a lot of time pondering humans, too, and trying to figure out what’s going on in their head.  But humans are simultaneously too easy – they can tell you what they’re thinking/feeling! – and too hard – they might be wrong or lying! – and much as I like people, they make me tired an awful lot of the time.

Critters, though?  All the same turning wheels with less mud and exhaustion, and it is just so cool getting to see that and such an honor getting be a part of it and then it’s so cool again that it’s even possible create that kind of communication – and trust! – with an entirely different species.  Never ever ever gets old.

3)    Because risk (and risk analysis) and nudging around at the edges of things gets me where I live and accessing it via horse sport keeps me honest.  This is the part where I admit that, as much as I genuinely do love precision-and-perfection-oriented activities – and I don’t even mean dressage here, you guys, I am one of those jerks who thinks competitive obedience would be fun – and as much as I’m fascinated by planning and management and crossing my Ts and dotting my Is…that stuff is in service to adrenaline sport, not the other way around.  If an activity is basically critical-consequence-free, I am just not interested.  I do my best work with my back a little bit to the wall, and I really enjoy doing my best work, you know?  I don’t mean that like I suddenly go into hulk mode and achieve a whole new level of performance; I think that kind of thing is mostly a myth.  But I am by default a plodder – kind of cautious, kind of casual, doing the right thing in the right way in a sustainable fashion – and the right kind of pressure helps me access what little brilliance is available to me – and you guys, that is an awful lot of fun.

But: big on doing the right thing in the right way in a sustainable fashion.  And lazy, and chicken, and just generally Not Interested in actually getting myself or anybody else into real serious trouble.  And I worry a lot about how much I like that sharpened focus and sense of urgency.  It’s useful to approach that stuff from a we’re-in-this-together perspective, with somebody else on my team and also somebody else to be responsible for.  Like I said, I think critters are really wonderful partners.  Like I’ve said previously and elsewhere, I have this very strong sense of moral obligation to take care of and make good decisions on behalf of an animal that I’ve chosen to bring with me into sport.  So when I talk about the particular horse sports that appeal to me, I’m also talking about leveraging my own temperament against my own temperament, to satisfy the reward system without letting it get too carried away.

Do not get me wrong: I ride because I love horses (and my horse in particular); I am not in horses because I love to ride.  If I didn’t love horses, I’d probably be doing canine search-and-rescue and/or rock climbing instead.  But yeah, there is a piece of it where these sports and these critters do a really nice job of helping not-so-compatible bits of my brain to peacefully coexist.

(I have actually been meaning to do a post about the first time I pulled a horse up cross-country and about my (unrelated) Moment of Reckoning with the risk inherent in eventing.  One of these days!)