Tunnel, Meet Light

Must confess: December has been a frustrating horse month thus far.

This is no fault of Tucker’s; he has been a star!

My workload for class picked up as soon as November’s family commitments dropped off and I’ve been battling a Generic Cold-Weather Ailment that’s only moderately debilitating but severely irritating, in part because it just.  Won’t.  Quit.  It feels like the sort of respiratory crud that responds well to fresh air and exercise, and when I head out, I do feel better.  For a few hours.  After which I am promptly knocked flat for days.

But I have not seen my pony since Saturday and I miss him.  I figured I would scoot out the barn after work – even got dressed this morning directly into my winter breeches; hurrah for wearing scrubs at work!  Trouble is, we are being treated to some more snow today.  Not much more snow, but the heaviest expected fall coincides precisely with my commute.  The first ten miles are the same whether I’m heading home or the to the barn, so I figure I will just start driving and if the roads and traffic are prohibitively messy, I’ll skip the turn-off towards the barn.

(And I am grateful all over again for the excellent care provided at the round barn.  It is such a relief to know that Tuck is okay and happy and well-looked-after whether I can be there or not.)

On the one hand, I miss him!  And I miss riding and working and figuring things out.  I’ve been a just-set-priorities-and-then-behave-accordingly hard-liner for years.  Horse got ridden X times per week and that was just how it was.  On the other hand, I’m finding joy in being a little bit rudder-less and pressure-free.  No, we’re not making a ton of progress, but not having deadlines or stretch goals or anybody to report to is a kind of freedom that we haven’t had for ages.  To experiment, to fiddle, to break things and not know to put them back together.  I’ve been thinking of it mostly in terms of technical skills, but maybe it applies here as well.

I’d planned a 6-week mostly-holiday for the horse (and for myself).  At this point, realistically given, we’re looking at 10 weeks of light workouts an average of 3x/week.  This is uncharted territory.  The last time we had this much time working so lightly and with so little intent was the stretch from June 2005 through June 2006 when I had moved across the country and left him laid off at home.

I have some time off during the week of New Year’s, and then the whole expanse of January in front of us.  I’m not usually one for New Year’s resolutions; I do my yearly New Year’s Day bareback hack but other than that I tend to figure that if I want to do something, I might as well get started ASAP and hold the symbolism.  But okay.  As long as we’re experimenting, maybe we’ll try this, too.

(I fear the January clinic may be hilarious, but what can you do?)